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Make Your Own Zombie Best Friend

Thatís right, zombies make wonderful friends! Theyíre outgoing and will never turn down an invitation for lunch at your place. Once inside, they wonít judge you for your lousy housework or taste in art, and they wonít make a fuss if thereís nothing in your refrigerator.

But Victoria, you cry, itís the Summer of the Zombies and thereís no radiation leak or virus creating the walking dead in my neighbourhood! Donít despair, just follow the instructions below. Youíll be able to easily make your very own person of decomposition without having to resort to biological warfare or nuclear meltdown.

Your neighbours will thank you.

Materials:

Scraps of Worsted Weight Wool: For this project I used a bilious shade of infectious green, a muddy cemetery brown, and a dark-and-deep-as-the-grave black. You know, cheerful, summery colours.

A small circle of cardboard or plastic, approximately 2 inches in diameter. I cut mine out of a margarine lid. Freehand. Without measuring. Because Iím a rebel. Although next time maybe I should wash the lid first.

Yarn Needle.

Stuffing. Any kind of stuffing will do. Fibre fill, wool scraps, Kleenex, plastic bags, laundry lint, old socksÖ although decomposing substances arenít recommended. Itís best to give your zombie a fresh start, and let him rot at his own pace.

A crochet hook. Iím using an F/5, 3.75mm hook, but feel free to use any hook you have on hand. Big hooks make big zombies, little hooks make little zombies.

There is no gauge. You do not need to make any kind of swatch, nor do you need to pin or measure anything. You may now celebrate your liberation.


Feel the excitement!

Head

  1. Using your zombie skin colour, chain 3. Single crochet (sc) 6 in the first chain (ch). Slip stitch (sl st) into the top of the first sc. Ch 1. You should now have a nice little round disc hanging off the end of your hook. If you donít, I canít help you.

  2. Sc twice in every sc around, until you have 12 sts. Sl st to join. Ch 1. Your disc is now hopefully bigger.

  3. * Sc in next stitch. Sc twice in next st. Repeat from * around until you have 18 sc. Sl st to join. Ch 1.

  4. * Sc 2. Sc twice in next st. Repeat from * around until you have 24 sc. Sl st to join. Ch 1. That should be big enough.

  5. Sc in every st, all the way around (24 sc). Sl st to join. Ch 1.

  6. Repeat round 5, 4 more times. Time to begin decreasing!

  7. * Sc 2. Sc the next two sts together, decreasing by1. Repeat from * around until you have 18 sc. Sl st to join. Ch 1.

  8. * Sc in next st. Sc the next two sts together, decreasing 1. Repeat from * around until you have 12 sc. Sl st to join. Ch 1.

  9. Sc two together, decreasing all the way around until you have 6 sc. Sl st to join.

  10. Cut yarn, leaving a long tail for sewing. Thread the end of the tail through the loop on your hook and pull tight to fasten. Since I forgot to include scissors in the materials list, feel free to use your teeth to cut the yarn. Disclaimer: I am not responsible for your dental bills.

Beware of making zombies in front of other zombies. They may faint from shock. Or realize they can create an army of the undead without you.

Body

  1. Repeat steps 1 to 4 of Head, using zombie body colour. If you want a naked zombie, choose the same colour as the head. My zombie is not that daring, so heíll be wearing brown.

  2. * Sc 3. Sc twice in next st. Repeat from * around until you have 30 sc. Sl st to join. Ch 1. * Sc 4. Sc twice in next st. Repeat from * around until you have 36 sc. Sl st to join. Ch 1.

  3. Sc once in every st, all the way around. Sl st to join. Ch 1. Repeat previous round, 4 more times. Time to begin decreasing! But before you do, make sure to place the plastic circle inside. Otherwise you may find that it doesnít fit down your zombieís elegant neck.

  4. * Sc 4, sc next two sts together. Repeat from * around until you have 30 sc. Sl st. Ch 1.

  5. Repeat step 4, once.

  6. * Sc 3, sc next two sts together. Repeat from * around until you have 24 sc. Sl st. Ch 1.

  7. * Sc 2, sc next two sts together. Repeat from * around until you have 18 sc. Sl st. Ch 1.

  8. Repeat step 4, once.

  9. * Sc 1, sc next two sts together. Repeat from * around until you have 12 sc. Sl st. Ch 1.

  10. Repeat step 4, once.

  11. Break yarn, slip through the loop to fasten off.

Feel free to make your zombie plumper or skinnier. The walking dead donít suffer from body image problems. They love bodies of all shapes and sizes. Especially yours.

Arms (Make 2)

  1. Using zombie body colour, ch 3. Sc 6 in the first ch. Slip stitch in the top of the first sc. Ch 1.

  2. Sc 1, sc 2 in next st. Repeat around until there are 9 sts. Sl st. Ch 1.

  3. Sc in each st around. Sl st. Ch 1.

  4. Repeat round 3. Fasten off, leaving a long tail for sewing.

If youíre making a radioactive zombie, adding extra limbs is encouraged.

Assembly

  1. Stuff body, making sure to seat the plastic circle on the bottom. If itís not perfectly centred, donít worry. Zombies arenít perfectionists.

  2. Stuff head.

  3. Sew the head to the body, using the yarn tail from the head.

  4. Stuff arms and sew to body.

  5. Sew hair to top of head, using any technique you like. It doesnít matter if it looks messy, zombies arenít fashionistas. If you donít like sewing, hot glue is always an option.

  6. With black yarn, embroider Xís for eyes and a straight line for the mouth. Zombies always look like theyíre smiling. Not surprising, as theyíve given up the rat race to run down new friends.

  7. Finally, give your new zombie pal a hug!

Don't worry, he'll respect you for your brains.

 

 

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